It’s a unique family … with each sibling behaving and conducting himself with a different set of morals and principles. One might think that … “hey, he is your big brother” … thus implying that we share common morals, principles and responsibilities. Him being my “big brother” generally means that … he would be more responsible and committed than me … and stuff like that.
But that’s not the case in our family … each person is unique in himself. However, the siblings that are born an year or so after … they have more common behaviors and principles.
Big bros tend to be barbaric
You will find a lot of difference in how my big brothers conduct themselves and how me and my younger brother conduct ourselves. What basically happened was that … my Dad went abroad while my elder brothers were still very young. They grew up without a father monitoring them and guiding them. They grew up with friends on the streets … they picked up their style and behaviors … they became quite violent and aggressive.
They would fight everywhere … in the neighborhood … in the school … at home … with each other and with other siblings. My Mom is a very gentle person … she couldn’t manage them. It was getting so bad that … they were throwing huge stones at other kids and breaking their noses … 25 people were coming to our house to hunt down our big brother.
Mom told our Dad that … I cannot manage these kids on my own … either you call all of us abroad or come back to India. Dad took some loans and called all of us abroad. Dad contained their aggressive behavior to a great extent.
My younger brother and me
We didn’t grow up on the streets in India. I was in my first grade and my younger brother was 3 years younger than me when we moved abroad. We grew up in the best schools and localities abroad. The people we met and interacted with … they were totally different than what my elder brothers saw.
So, our behaviors and conduct are totally different than our bigger bros.
Learn what is right yourself
Another factor that contributed to the different personalities of family members of the same house is my Dad’s policy of guiding his children. His policy was … “observe your environment and learn what is right and wrong”. He wouldn’t sit and lecture us for hours what is right and what is wrong … but instead … he would put us in the best schools in the city and we would stay in the best neighborhoods in the city … and he expected each of us to learn what is right ourselves.
He kept the best books at home … we had to refer the books, observe the environment and become as best as we could. He never sat down with us dictating to us that … these are the roles and responsibilities of a brother or a sister or a son or a daughter. That’s why there is no common glue that connects us with a common sense of responsibility or principle.
Each of us made their own efforts … each of us learnt what we wanted … each of us formed their own principles and values … and each of us operate with a different sense of responsibilities.
Yes, not being lectured by your father on your roles and responsibilities … and the ability to make your own choices seems nice. But the disadvantage of this technique was that … hardly any of us have much in common. Each sibling operates with a different mindset.
Related by blood but strangers
Its not like step brothers that there is defined enmity or so. We are related by blood … grew up in the same house … we are brothers and sisters … but we operate like strangers who have their own set of responsibilities and principles.
Some among us choose to do what is right … some among us choose to do what is wrong. Its not because we were taught that way … its because we were given the liberty to make our choices.
Not total strangers as well
We are not total strangers as well … we have some basic common things that we built over time. We celebrate and wish each other’s birthdays … we joke with each other … we make fun of each other … we all love good food … when everything is nice then everyone is nice.
It is just when they are tested with money … with responsibility … with care … that involves some sacrifice … its then that they show their colors. It all depends on the “mood” … good mood then good conduct … bad mood then he will show his colors.
Why did Dad follow such a policy?
Why would a father not teach right from wrong to his children? Why would he let them grow up as they wished? Why did he allow you to “learn from your environment?” This is a good question.
Its because my Dad didn’t learn much from his Dad. I don’t know that if you know … do you know what my grandfather used to do? He was a “businessman”. What business? He used to sell rice. In a showroom or in a shop? No … it was on the street … he was a street vendor.
My Dad was the odd one out in his family … he would continuously be picking up the best tactics, best principles and the best line of action for everything. He learnt a few things at home from his Dad but then he started moving with better options.
My grandfather was a street vendor … not in the city … but in a small village. My father moved to the city … refused to continue working with his Dad in the village and he started his life in the city. He was good at business … he went abroad … he started working in a small company … started imports from China … started travelling internationally … made so much profits that the same company started a million dollar company. My Dad was managing this million dollar company that was manufacturing different food products.
If you see my Dad’s career … he started off with selling rice on the street in a small village … to standing up to his own father … moving to the city … moving abroad … working internationally … and setting up a million dollar company. Do you know what is my Dad’s qualification? He passed just tenth grade.
How was Dad able to move up so rapidly and successfully?
Because he learnt from his environment … he learnt the best practices from the best in his environment. His father was a street vendor from a small village … he didn’t learn everything from his father … he taught himself.
This is what our father expected from us … when he put us in the best schools and localities … made each of us an engineer or a doctor … he expected us to learn from the best to be the best.
But that has not been the case for each of us … each of us has performed based on what we have learnt … some have learnt and some haven’t. Some have good morals and some don’t … some show responsibility and some don’t … some do what is right and some don’t.
Getting shockers?
Getting shockers seeing the things that happen in my family? Lol. Yeah, it happened to me as well. I am sitting in the best school abroad … knowing that my father is a Manager in a company … while all other classmates’ parents were Doctors, Engineers, Managers and Accountants.
Its when I came back to India to do my Engineering … I am given a brief introduction to our family background. I am like … what?? What did Dad used to do? What did grandpa used to do?? Where??!!
More the information I got about our family … the more I understood why other family members think and operate differently. I understood why there is nothing like a family unit among us … I understood why there is no common glue of morals, principles and responsibilities that joins us together.
I used to envy other families where brothers and sisters stood strongly together protecting each other and helping each other. I always used to wonder why we don’t have this. My family is one of my biggest weakness.
That’s probably one of the reasons the first thing that God did was … snap me out of my family … kept me away from my family to show me and to train me on what I had to work on. I don’t think I would be able to take out the time, travel internationally and get the support to do this work. My own family would have been used against me.
Look right now … there is zero pressure … and each sibling is trying to eat each other alive in their own greed. Heh.
However, I travel internationally … just like my Dad did … I create my own circle and family … with SM Groups and Obamas. Now, that the base for the work has already been created … it cannot be shaken by my “varied” family members.
Now, Presidential candidates and SM Groups are watching what happens in my family … they are getting shockers. Trust me … the feeling is mutual. While I manage Presidential leadership … I have to manage a few things at home as well.
